Charlie Weis: This Is Your Strife

Over the past week, there’s been a lot of talk of how poorly Notre Dame has been playing. Yet to score an offensive touchdown, and having been shelled to the tune of 30+ points their last 3 games, heavy criticism has fallen on head coach’s Charlie Weis’ sloping shoulders. After 2 straight BCS bowl appearances, what’s changed since January 2007 to put the Fighting Irish in this position? Here’s a few of the reasons of the downfall of the South Bend team.

Charlie Weis is no longer fat

Look at him. He spent all summer on his treadmill listening to easy jazz. His killer instinct for ham has left him, and with it the offensive genius that helped Brady Quinn become a first round draft pick.

Charlie Weis in Law & Order: Special Gastronomic Unit

Going bear claw in bear claw with the first reason, Charlie Weis’ essay “How I Spent My Summer” was chiefly about his battle with the doctor that almost killed him on the operating table. The Jersey man, naturally used to planning every facet of an offense, had to cram 4-5 years of law schooling in a month, in order to represent his own interests. Micheal Mone’s strings were clearly pulled by Weis’ brilliant hands.

Charlie Weiss Is One Of Those Yeerks from Animorphs

Remember them? They could only spend like 3 days away from their feeding pool without shriveling up and dying. Charlie Weiss’ third year away from the Patriots and suddenly he’s not the same coach anymore? Clearly, Weiss feeds on the spirit of Jimmy Hoffa for his power.

Jimmy Clausen Isn’t Very Good

He can throw a heck of a screen pass, though!

Charlie Weis & Brady Quinn

~ring ring~ “Hello, Brady speaking.”

“I’ve missed you sooo much BQ.”

“(giggles) Coach, I told you not to call me anymore. We don’t play on the same teeaaaaam anymore.”

“I just missed the way you can command a deep ball-

oh god I’m going to vomit

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