LSU – Virginia Tech to be broadcast on Lifetime Network

September 7, 2007

In what appears to be a major loss for ESPN’s Saturday night programming lineup, the Walt Disney-owned company has announced Friday that the matchup between Louisiana State and Virginia Tech will be switched from ESPN to Lifetime. The broadcasting team will remain the same, and all fans in attendance will not notice any difference.

Managing director Russel Balding released a statement saying: “During our broadcast of the game between Virginia Tech and Eastern Carolina University, we noticed several difficulties with the broadcast. Our tech support team found that the equipment that ESPN uses for its regular sporting events could barely handle the amount of emotion present in Lane Stadium that day, due to the horrific shootings that happened almost four months ago. We fear that the amount of emotion present in Tiger Stadium, with the emotions residing from the aforementioned Virginia Tech shooting combining with the emotions from both Hurricane Katrina and Hurricane Rita, would cause ESPN be knocked off the air.

“Until we can finish updating the equipment in Bristol, CT. to handle the high levels of emotions found in games like this, we have decided to safely broadcast the game on another of our subsidiaries, the Lifetime Network. The Lifetime Network has a long history of being able to handle made-for-TV movies about women in tense, emotional situations, like abusing husbands, abusing lesbian partners, and abusing husbands that force heroines to run to their abusive lesbian partners. With at 25-year history at providing high-emotion television, we feel that Lifetime will be well-suited for broadcasting the exciting, high-emotion matchup between Virginia Tech and Louisiana State.”


News in Brief: Football’s Back!

September 5, 2007

College football spans all 50 states (while quality college football is confined to about 14), so there’s a lot to digest, even for those just skimming box scores. This means plenty of stories are out of the eyes of the public. Here’s some of the more interesting from the first week of football, August 30th to September 3rd.

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H2DN 2007 Previews – Virginia Tech Hokies

July 13, 2007

For years now, Virginia Tech has been considered a team who fails to live up to its potential. Let’s take a trip in the Way Back Machine, shall we?

2001 – 6-0 start, followed up by losses to Syracuse, Pittsburgh, and Miami. The season culminated in a rematch against Florida State in the Gator Bowl, which ended up having pretty much the same result as the first matchup.
2002 – 8-0 start, followed up by losing 4 out of their last 5 against Pitt, Syracuse, WVU, and Miami. Resulted in VT squeaking past a service academy in the San Francisco “Rice-a-roni” Bowl.
2003 – 6-0 start, followed up by losing 4 out of their last 6 against WVU, Pitt, BC, and Virginia. Resulted in the ridiculous shootout against Cal in which a missed field goal by Carter Worley cost them the game 52-49. The vaunted Virginia Virginia Tech defense at work.
2004 – Two losses against the post-season #1 and #2 teams in the country in their first and last games, but sandwiched nicely in-between was a loss to mediocre Chuck Amato-coached NC State. It’s a veritable sandwich of suck.
2005 – 8-0 start, followed up by losing to Miami. However, this still would have been saved as a good season if not for going to the ACC championship and blowing the game against one of the, if not the, worst Florida State team in recent memory. In their defense, FSU did go on to play one of the most hilariously inept BCS bowl games ever against Penn State.
2006 – 4-0 start, followed up by a loss to Georgia Tech that was 21-0 at the end of the first quarter, and another loss against Boston College, ruining the mystique of Virginia Tech’s “Thursday Night Supremacy”. They rebounded back to win the rest of their games, only to turn a 21-3 lead against Georgia in the Peach Chick-Fil-A Bowl at halftime into a 31-24 loss.

Will this year break the trend? Probably not. But let’s preview the team anyway.


A candid photo of offensive coordinator Bryan Stinespring sharing a candy bar with his son. Read the rest of this entry »

The How-to Guide to Picking a Good Team Name and Mascot

June 11, 2007

Now that you’ve got an idea on how to act with contempt should the glorious SEC choose your school, and how to have a marching band that won’t get you sanctions from the NCAA, now you have to choose a team name and mascot. Its tedious and very difficult, as there are probably people pushing you every which way. Here’s some tips to keep in mind:

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Angry Miami fan quits in disgust – “It’s not fun anymore.”

May 23, 2007

NEW YORK – Joel Carey is your average, bandwagon sports fan in the Northeast. He sits on his hands every week of the fall at Giants Stadium, and last week traded in his Navy Blue Jeter jersey for a Royal Blue Reyes. A Pace graduate, Joel has never had a Division I-A college football team to call his own. Not to worry, though. For most of his adult life, he has followed the Miami Hurricanes. However, recently that fact has begun to change, causing a dangerous existential crisis that threatens the core of Carey’s very being. Read the rest of this entry »

The Most Underachieving Teams (Not) in the Fulmer Cup

May 7, 2007

For those of you not in the know, the Fulmer Cup is an offseason award handed out by EDSBS to the team that spends its free time in the most productive ways. After compiling the all-time Fulmer Cup scoreboard, it became clear to us at H2DN that several schools are shockingly scoreless.

1. Florida State Seminoles Read the rest of this entry »

10 Things I Hate about Butch Davis

April 24, 2007

Congratulations, Tar Heels, on your attempt at college football legitimacy by signing former University of Miami coach Butch Davis to helm your program. For a long time now UNC and Triangle buddy Duke have been the laughing stocks of the ACC, and D-1 in general. Certainly there is reason for optimism with this hiring, but as someone who has been burned by Butch in the past, I offer these caveats:

Butch jersey Read the rest of this entry »