Buckeyes Score Big With Halloween Costumes

November 1, 2007

COLUMBUS, OH – Students at the The Ohio State University are still raving over the Halloween costumes worn last weekend by the members of the OSU football team. The Buckeyes wowed the community by imitating great Buckeyes of the past.

Local bartender Eric Cooper was most impressed with the performance of the offense. “The way that [quarterback Todd] Boeckman was throwing the ball was exactly like Art Schlichter. Man, that kid must have had money riding on the Penn State game.” Read the rest of this entry »


Beer and Loathing in Irish Nation

October 5, 2007

Much has been made in the media and on message boards about the epic failures of the Notre Dame football team this year. You can’t watch a game without being reminded that it’s the worst start in school history, or that they rank at the bottom of D-1A in most offensive categories. And I don’t just mean during ND games, you can watch Ball State vs. Eastern Michigan and be reminded of this.

As much as people focus on this, however, no one seems to care how this is affecting the fans of this storied program. And I don’t just mean the fans who loved Rudy or who coincidentally root for the New York Yankees, New England Patriots, and Tiger Woods as well. I mean those who have deep family ties to the institution. People, like me, who have actually been to South Bend outside of football season.

What follows is a sort of diary of how each Irish loss has taken it’s toll on me this year. As I reflect on the season, I notice three trends. First, no matter where I go I can’t avoid seeing the game. Second, there’s only so much I can watch of each massacre. Third, there is one solution to all Irish problems: beer. I used to think it was just an offensive stereotype that Irish loved to drink. Then I started drinking and goddamit I love beer. Read the rest of this entry »

Penn State is getting screwed again

August 27, 2007

There’s something rotten in State College, and we’re not talking about Grandpa Joe’s dentures.

They’ve long known in Nittany-ville that the referees are biased against the Nittany Lions. All throughout 2006, Joe Paterno was eying the Alamo Bowl as he does his pile of Betty Page papyri every night. Alas, ’twas not meant to be. The evil Big Ten commissioner’s office, run by the tight knit Ohio State/Michigan cartel, in an act frighteningly akin to rape, brutally forced Penn State to play in Tampa instead.


Paterno exhales following his daily session in the hyperbaric chamber.

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The How-To Guide for Preparing for College Football season

August 16, 2007

Here at H2DN, we’re getting very excited. I mean, just look at us. Shaking, anxiety, hard nipples – face it, we’re fucking stoked. But as the leaders of college football blogosphere, we’re here to offer some of the tips we use to make each football season better than the rest. So buck up college students. This is more important than books, study guides and those multi-million dollar daycare centers we call Universities. Read the rest of this entry »