Case Western Receives Mathlete Rose Bowl Bid over Rensselaer Polytechnic – Tradition Blamed

December 4, 2007

As well we know, Mathletics are a major part of any University’s repertoire of activities – without Mathletes, where would national powerhouses like Carnegie Mellon and University of California Riverside be? Nowhere, that’s where! To build a successful program to attract the nations top Mathletes, you need to exhibit not only the facilities but also the following and environment that stimulates the mathlete – not unlike the athlete. However, he or she can be swayed by a school’s tradition and history of success, not merely wins and losses. Part of those winning ways are folded into the tradition – but that’s why it’s important to allow for up and coming Mathletics programs to try their hands at the Great-Grandaddy of Them All – the Mathlete Rose Bowl.
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Beer and Loathing in Irish Nation

October 5, 2007

Much has been made in the media and on message boards about the epic failures of the Notre Dame football team this year. You can’t watch a game without being reminded that it’s the worst start in school history, or that they rank at the bottom of D-1A in most offensive categories. And I don’t just mean during ND games, you can watch Ball State vs. Eastern Michigan and be reminded of this.

As much as people focus on this, however, no one seems to care how this is affecting the fans of this storied program. And I don’t just mean the fans who loved Rudy or who coincidentally root for the New York Yankees, New England Patriots, and Tiger Woods as well. I mean those who have deep family ties to the institution. People, like me, who have actually been to South Bend outside of football season.

What follows is a sort of diary of how each Irish loss has taken it’s toll on me this year. As I reflect on the season, I notice three trends. First, no matter where I go I can’t avoid seeing the game. Second, there’s only so much I can watch of each massacre. Third, there is one solution to all Irish problems: beer. I used to think it was just an offensive stereotype that Irish loved to drink. Then I started drinking and goddamit I love beer. Read the rest of this entry »

Penn State is getting screwed again

August 27, 2007

There’s something rotten in State College, and we’re not talking about Grandpa Joe’s dentures.

They’ve long known in Nittany-ville that the referees are biased against the Nittany Lions. All throughout 2006, Joe Paterno was eying the Alamo Bowl as he does his pile of Betty Page papyri every night. Alas, ’twas not meant to be. The evil Big Ten commissioner’s office, run by the tight knit Ohio State/Michigan cartel, in an act frighteningly akin to rape, brutally forced Penn State to play in Tampa instead.


Paterno exhales following his daily session in the hyperbaric chamber.

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A Drunk College Student Reads Phil Steele’s Preview Of His Favorite Team

June 13, 2007

Yo, is that that fuckin’ college preview mag? Gimme dat, I’m droppin a deuce in your shitter, need something to read. Fuck, beer always makes me shit. Read the rest of this entry »

Dedication, do you speak it?

May 18, 2007

As I write this article, I’m less than 12 hours away from a 7:30am date with my Roman Archeology exam, but college football is on my mind. Please don’t misunderstand me, I love talking about the plaster casts of bodies that litter the streets of Pompeii as much as the next red-blooded American man, but to be perfectly honest, sometimes I’d rather just dream about football. Is that so wrong? “But wait,” I hear you say, “aren’t you at school to learn? You pay tuition, right?” Well, yes and no; you see, I am learning. I am learning about anatomy, I’m learning about the value of discipline, and business acumen. College is so much more than classes though, and that’s an important lesson that one of my roommates needs to learn (seriously Rob, go the fuck outside and do something other than study and masturbate). College is about rivalries, about forgetting where you parked your car or who the hell is it that you woke up with this morning. It’s so much more than some buildings, a congregation of people, an institution of learning, or fearing for your life (feel free to insert Virgina Tech joke of choice). To some of us, college is a magical four to seven years that centers around grills, tents in your team’s colors, gasoline-powered generators, satellite TVs on the Quad, and ululations of joy usually emitted near the engineering building (probably all those foreign kids playing soccer). Read the rest of this entry »