LSU – Virginia Tech to be broadcast on Lifetime Network

September 7, 2007

In what appears to be a major loss for ESPN’s Saturday night programming lineup, the Walt Disney-owned company has announced Friday that the matchup between Louisiana State and Virginia Tech will be switched from ESPN to Lifetime. The broadcasting team will remain the same, and all fans in attendance will not notice any difference.

Managing director Russel Balding released a statement saying: “During our broadcast of the game between Virginia Tech and Eastern Carolina University, we noticed several difficulties with the broadcast. Our tech support team found that the equipment that ESPN uses for its regular sporting events could barely handle the amount of emotion present in Lane Stadium that day, due to the horrific shootings that happened almost four months ago. We fear that the amount of emotion present in Tiger Stadium, with the emotions residing from the aforementioned Virginia Tech shooting combining with the emotions from both Hurricane Katrina and Hurricane Rita, would cause ESPN be knocked off the air.

“Until we can finish updating the equipment in Bristol, CT. to handle the high levels of emotions found in games like this, we have decided to safely broadcast the game on another of our subsidiaries, the Lifetime Network. The Lifetime Network has a long history of being able to handle made-for-TV movies about women in tense, emotional situations, like abusing husbands, abusing lesbian partners, and abusing husbands that force heroines to run to their abusive lesbian partners. With at 25-year history at providing high-emotion television, we feel that Lifetime will be well-suited for broadcasting the exciting, high-emotion matchup between Virginia Tech and Louisiana State.”

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Things Happened On: August 30th.

August 31, 2007

2 LSU at Mississippi State, Murray State at 10 Louisville, 14 Buffalo at Rutgers, Weber State at 24 Boise State – I’ll give you a hint who wins: schools you could locate on a map.

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H2DN 2007 Previews – Vanderbilt Commodores

July 17, 2007

Ah Vanderbilt. They’re not the football school that UT is. They aren’t the basketball team that Memphis is. They’re somewhere in the middle with a decent baseball team. So what are they? They’re the SEC East’s warmup game, sadly enough. They’re a pretty big school in the middle of Nashville, TN, and pretty much the only redeeming factor is the high quality of the females.

But what can we expect out of Vanderbilt in the 2007 season for football? They look to be very well off, returning 8 of 11 starters on both offense and defense, but unfortunately, they’re STILL Vanderbilt, and unless another Jay Cutler comes along, they STILL won’t finish higher than 4th in the east.

But like I said, the females…

Vandy Cheer

H2DN author fun fact: SaxMaverick went to high school with one of the

chumps holding these fine ladies up. In Florida.

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H2DN 2007 Previews – Florida Gators

July 14, 2007

Life is good in Titletown, USA. The basketball team, led by the meanest housewife this side of the Mississippi (watch out Windy City!) is enjoying their second straight title. The football team embarrassed an overrated Ohio State team for a share of the national championship (look, we all know the REAL champions are Boise State). This Urban Meyer fella wrangled himself the top recruiting class in nation. Everything is topped by the full-time prospect of Tim “Jesus” Tebow performing at quarterback. Can the Savior bring another championship to the Swamp? Will Meyer continue his domination of the other Florida schools? However, the most important question is…

Lawnmower Man

…Will this man get the grass mowed in time for summer practices???

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H2DN 2007 Previews – Alabama Crimson Tide

July 7, 2007

Ding Dong The Bear is Dead

There have been basically no changes to the Alabama Crimson Tide during the off season. And by no changes I mean that GOD has returned to Alabama. No, not the Bear. No, not Charlie Weis. I mean Nick Saban! When reviewing this team it was important to look at all of the normal indicators of a great season.

Media Circus? Check. Scandal? Check. Full Spring Game? Check.

Obviously, they are a team on their way to the top! Let’s break it down for you.

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H2DN 2007 Previews – Tennessee Volunteers

July 5, 2007

In the first of our 117 part series (MAYBE), H2DN authors are going to take a look at the upcoming season and offer OUR predictions for our respective conference teams. To start out will be the team that makes me drink every Saturday, the Tennessee Volunteers.

The question is, how is our season going to be? Tennessee football is like being drunk at the bar: Everything looks good and proper and you’re feeling up the girl in the 1st picture, but by the time last call comes around, you’re hobbling out of the Citrus Bowl with the woman on the bottom.

HotVolsWalMartVols

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The How-to Guide to Picking a Good Team Name and Mascot

June 11, 2007

Now that you’ve got an idea on how to act with contempt should the glorious SEC choose your school, and how to have a marching band that won’t get you sanctions from the NCAA, now you have to choose a team name and mascot. Its tedious and very difficult, as there are probably people pushing you every which way. Here’s some tips to keep in mind:

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