I Am In First Place In The Heisman Race

October 26, 2007

After closing in on watching an impressive 10 games per week, including non-conference games, I am officially the frontrunner for the 2007 Heisman trophy, presented by a truck!

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Beer and Loathing in Irish Nation

October 5, 2007

Much has been made in the media and on message boards about the epic failures of the Notre Dame football team this year. You can’t watch a game without being reminded that it’s the worst start in school history, or that they rank at the bottom of D-1A in most offensive categories. And I don’t just mean during ND games, you can watch Ball State vs. Eastern Michigan and be reminded of this.

As much as people focus on this, however, no one seems to care how this is affecting the fans of this storied program. And I don’t just mean the fans who loved Rudy or who coincidentally root for the New York Yankees, New England Patriots, and Tiger Woods as well. I mean those who have deep family ties to the institution. People, like me, who have actually been to South Bend outside of football season.

What follows is a sort of diary of how each Irish loss has taken it’s toll on me this year. As I reflect on the season, I notice three trends. First, no matter where I go I can’t avoid seeing the game. Second, there’s only so much I can watch of each massacre. Third, there is one solution to all Irish problems: beer. I used to think it was just an offensive stereotype that Irish loved to drink. Then I started drinking and goddamit I love beer. Read the rest of this entry »

A Drunk College Student Reads Phil Steele’s Preview Of His Favorite Team

June 13, 2007

Yo, is that that fuckin’ college preview mag? Gimme dat, I’m droppin a deuce in your shitter, need something to read. Fuck, beer always makes me shit. Read the rest of this entry »

How to become a writer at H2DN

May 8, 2007

At H2DN, we have a tough screening process. You have to be more than just knowledgeable about college sports. You have to be a huge fan of a college football team. We don’t want people that just “love the sport.” We want people that are a bit crazy about a team. For all you aspiring H2DN writers, please take a look at the following requirements:

Favorite Team

First, you must have a favorite team. And if it isn’t from a BCS conference you are working an uphill battle. And if they don’t go to bowl games, you might as well just forget it. We are snobby. If your team has hot cheerleaders and you can provide enough pictures, we have been known to make exceptions. Read the rest of this entry »

Youtube Superfans: West Virginia Mountaineers

May 5, 2007

I normally have little problem defending my alma mater when it comes to fans’ actions at football games. You see, most of these horror stories come in the form of a message board rant about some guy’s wife being beat up before the game by a 300-pound redneck while he is pelted with batteries and forced to do the truffle shuffle on top of a burning couch. This is obviously bullshit because nobody would ever burn a couch before the game. Read the rest of this entry »

Toddler at Spring Game Gets JACKED THE FUCK UP

May 1, 2007

Apparently after reading Hell2DaNaw’s Iowa Edition of YouTube Superfans, 4-year-old Caden Thomas felt the need to replicate what he saw on YouTube and in the process was taken down by Colorado State’s George Hill. He needed 30 stitches to close the bleeding gash on his forehead and suffered permanent brain damage, although now he should fit right in with the rest of the fans of Colorado State. (ZING) Read the rest of this entry »

How to talk trash

April 25, 2007

Sports are both a great uniter and a great divider. It is a uniter in that it can give complete strangers who happen to be wearing the same cap an immediate connection, and make friends out of people who might never have said a word to each other otherwise. However, that’s boring. So this article will be focusing on the dividing aspects of college football, and how you can improve your trash talking on your rivals’ message boards. Read the rest of this entry »