Notre Dame Signs Much Sought-after Recruit

November 12, 2007

SOUTH BEND, IN – For the last six years he has been the most wanted man in America. Now he is on his way to South Bend.

Notre Dame shocked the college football world with the announcement of their newest member of the 2008 recruiting class. Read the rest of this entry »


Things Happened On: August 30th.

August 31, 2007

2 LSU at Mississippi State, Murray State at 10 Louisville, 14 Buffalo at Rutgers, Weber State at 24 Boise State – I’ll give you a hint who wins: schools you could locate on a map.

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Penn State is getting screwed again

August 27, 2007

There’s something rotten in State College, and we’re not talking about Grandpa Joe’s dentures.

They’ve long known in Nittany-ville that the referees are biased against the Nittany Lions. All throughout 2006, Joe Paterno was eying the Alamo Bowl as he does his pile of Betty Page papyri every night. Alas, ’twas not meant to be. The evil Big Ten commissioner’s office, run by the tight knit Ohio State/Michigan cartel, in an act frighteningly akin to rape, brutally forced Penn State to play in Tampa instead.

p1_paterno.jpg

Paterno exhales following his daily session in the hyperbaric chamber.

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Jericho Back on the Tuber

June 8, 2007

After hearing that their favorite show was cancelled, fans of CBS’s Jericho took matters into their own hands by raining 20 tons of peanuts on CBS headquarters. In response, the network announced that it would bring the show back next fall.

The fans of Jericho have proved that terrorism is still a viable course of action if you want to get things done these days. We, as college football fans, should learn from this event and start some postal terror campaigns of our own. We can make college administrators everywhere fear our disposable incomes.

We’re very much open to your suggestions – here’s a few to start:

Send your used clothing to Oregon.

University of Oregon Athletic Department
2727 Leo Harris Parkway
Eugene, OR 97401

Jerseys, pants, and warmup suits are preferred, but even bathrobes, towels, and potato sacks can go a long way to help athletes at the University of Oregon maintain a halfway respectable appearance again.

Tampons to University of Florida president Bernard Machen.

Office of the President
226 Tigert Hall, PO Box 113150
Gainesville, FL 32611

What better way to tell someone they’re a fucking pussy than by flooding their mailbox with tampons? Thanks a lot, Machen, for getting our hopes up and making us think you had balls of steel. If a playoff system is ever implemented in college football, we’re sure you’ll be there saying that it’s what you’ve been working for all along. But we know what you really are.

Pussy.